The Boy Who
Knew
and Other Stories
By
Louise Hart
Published by
Sirius Publications
www.sirius-books.com
© 2002 by Louise Hart. All Rights Reserved.
No part of this publication may be produced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Requests for permission to make copies of any part of the work should be addressed to Sirius Publications through our web site at www.sirius-books.com.
Cover art design copyright 2002 by Sirius Publications. Cover graphic copyright 2002 www.ArtToday.com.
Printed in the
ISBN 1-930889-37-2
Preface
There are many theories about extra sensory
perception (e.s.p.). Some researchers
link e.s.p. to the spiritual nature of mankind.
Some believe that it is a special gift of divine origin. Others believe that it is natural ability
that was possessed by every human being in prehistoric times. This ability to sense or know what was about
to happen, to see things beyond the physical, to communicate without words, to
know what was happening in a remote area, to feel vibrations, see auras and
know how another was feeling or what they intended was thought to have enabled
humans to survive in hostile environment in which humans as foragers, gatherers
and then hunters were also possible food for larger predators. Scientists who subscribe to that theory note
that extra sensory perception is not exact and does not appear to be evenly
distributed throughout the human race living in modern society. They consider the fact that e.s.p. has been
found to be widespread among children under the age of six (age of reason) and
lost to them after that age as evidence of their theory.
Whatever the origin or cause of e.s.p. may be, it is
now studied in universities and laboratories around the world. Government agencies have also attempted to
harness this ability. In today’s world
of the Internet, there are many sites dedicated to detailing experiences or
attempting to explain this ability.
The stories that are included herein are all
true. They happened. They involved real children caught in real
events. They are offered not for their
dramatic qualities, but rather, to show how children communicate what they know
and see, to evidence of how e.s.p. helps us in our lives and to demonstrate how
much we still have to learn about the mysteries of that life.
The author thanks all those who have shared their
stories with her. The names of the
individuals involved have been changed to protect their privacy. The events and experiences they have detailed
are, however, no less real. They
happened just as events like them happen every day somewhere in this
world. The implications of what those
events mean, their importance or their cause is beyond the scope of this
work. They are offered here only for the
readers’ enjoyment and knowledge that if similar events have happened to them,
they are not alone.
About the Author
The Boy Who Knew and Other Stories is the latest
book by author and poet, Louise Hart.
Prolific and multi-talented in her writings, Hart’s books range from
illustrated poetry to historical non-fiction, children’s books, essays, humor,
trade and cookbooks. Her imagistic
poetry ranges from the metaphysical to narrative. They include Prayers for the
A graduate of
Introduction
Ever know that something happened before anyone told
you? Ever sense that something was about
to happen? Ever hear how someone who
died unexpectedly for reasons unknown had put all of their affairs in
order? Ever wonder about the experience of
dying? Do we have any control over when we are going to die? Is there a part of us that survives mortal
death? Does one’s spirit leave the body
before, at or after death? Ever see flashes of light in a dark room? Ever have lights go on and off or hear your
house creak in the night or footsteps where no one was walking? Ever see things
that others could not? Ever feel that
you knew or recognized someone before you were introduced to him or her? Ever instantly like or dislike someone? Ever
thought that someone was watching you?
Ever know someone who answered those who could not be seen?
No, you are not losing your mind or touch with
reality. You are not hallucinating or
becoming paranoid. You may, however, be
sensing events in another dimension or having a psychic experience. You may be communicating telepathically (mind
to mind without use of auditory or other language abilities). You may be having an experience of clairaudience,
clairsentience or clairvoyance (hearing, sensing or seeing events before they
happen). You may be channeling (serving
as a conduit or means for another to communicate from another dimension or
after life). There may be a poltergeist
(a ghost) or someone with telekinesis (the mental ability to move or influence
objects without the use of one’s hands).
You may be experiencing déjà vu (the experience that one has known an
event or person before) or as some believe, encountering a spirit that you have
known in another life (re-incarnation). You or someone you know may have had an
n.d.e. (near death experience). You may,
indeed, have a guardian angel or spirit guide who watches over you.
This is the world of e.s.p. It is not the world of ghosts and goblins as
experienced on Halloween or in the movies.
It is a real world. The
experiences are known to millions of people every day. Some of those experiences may be happening
right now to someone you know. They
happen to people of all ages. They
happen to children. Many children who
have these experiences accept them as normal.
They do not question what is happening.
They also do not have the language abilities or experiential background
to tell the adults around them exactly what they see, hear, know and feel in
adult language. Hence, many adults fail
to recognize when their children or those about them are having an extra
sensory experience.
The stories detailed herein are real. They happened to real children. These children were not considered unusual or
extraordinary prior to these events. For
most, their experiences and abilities evolved from traumatic events in their
lives and the lives of those about them.
Some never had another such experience.
Some lived in special circumstances, had talents, abilities or
disabilities that made these extraordinary experiences seem more a coping or
blessing than a curse. Only one would
grow up to incorporate her ability into her career.
Most of the events have never been explained. Most did not need to be explained. It was enough that they happened.
The experiences of children, especially very young
children, were selected for this book for young children often have not been
acculturated, prejudiced or “educated“ to filter their
experiences. They have not been taught
what experiences or feelings are acceptable and not acceptable to have. Their faith and wisdom about the wonders of
this life and world is pure. That some
of their utterances had religious overtones has metaphysical connotations beyond
the scope of this work. What is known is that their experiences were no less
real because the adults around them failed to comprehend what they were trying
to communicate, what they were feeling, what they knew or how they knew what
they did? Children, after all, do not
see this world with the eyes or mind of an adult.
Some of the events may be seen as coincidental, the
product of childish imagination or embellishments. As an experienced journalist who has
researched and written on extrasensory perception for over twenty years, the
author assures readers that the experiences detailed herein were well
investigated and cannot be so explained.
At the same time, she leaves any explanation, conclusions or judgment
about the implications of the events to each reader to decide for herself or himself.
Table
of Contents
Preface
Introduction
The
Boy Who Knew
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part
IV
Part
V
Tell
God, He Can’t Have My Mommy
One
Step at a Time
Possessed
The Boy Who Knew
Part
I
Did you ever sense that something was about to
happen or know that what others thought around you was wrong? Did you ever pretend to be someone else? Did you ever think that the other person was
inside you? Did you ever hear your
parents say that you resemble someone else in your family, inherited their
nose, the color of their eyes, hair, or skin, their height, the shape of their
hands or feet? Did you ever hear them
say that you are as bright as your father or mother or inherited a talent, a
gift, in interest in science, mathematics, language or a personality trait for
which your parent or grandparent or even a great-grandparent was known?
Some parapsychologists believe that extra-sensory
perception, the ability to perceive or know things that cannot be seen or
sensed physically at the time that they are known, is inherited? Others believe that we are all born with
e.s.p. but that we lose it as we develop rational ways of seeing the world or
thinking about events and do not use this facility. Still others believe that it is a gift given
to us when we need it to cope with events or situations in our lives.
The following story is of a boy who may have
inherited e.s.p., may have developed the ability in response to events or his
particular life or physical situation.
Either way, his ability was well demonstrated and served him and his
family well. As he
grew and events and requirements changed, his ability seemed to diminish or at
least he stopped telling people about what was about to happen or things that
he knew when no one else about him did.
As in all of the stories in this book, the names
have been changed to protect the privacy of the people who experienced these
extraordinary events. The events and the
people are, however, quite real. As you
read about them, perhaps you may not be able to decide whether the boy
inherited, was born with or developed the ability in order to survive what
happened to him and his family, but you may remember or recognize events or
people like these from your own family.
Jonathan’s great great-great-grandmother Kate had been
the town “seer” in
Old timers tell how their parents and grandparents,
indeed almost every adult in town, visited Kate at one time or another while
she lived. They went to her to inquire
about problems in their lives, their futures, their health or the health or
well-being of one of their loved ones.
As a good neighbor and friend, she would answer them. Her answers were so accurate, especially her
answers about the outcome of illnesses, that even the town doctor was said to
inquire of her about the effectiveness of treatments of difficult conditions or
injuries to patients. One of these
stories became a local legend. It
involved a neighboring farmer who had suffered a severe concussion to his head
in an accidental fall. The doctor did
not believe that the man would live. His
wife was upset at the thought of her husband’s dying. She loved her husband. They had several small children and she could
not manage the farm by herself. She did
not know what she would do. She went to
ask Kate if Kate agreed with the doctor.
Would her husband die from his injuries or would he live? Kate quickly answered her question. Her husband would live. He would recover. The woman was grateful for her words of
comfort. Kate’s words gave the woman
strength. She thanked Kate and rushed
home to care for her husband believing what Kate had told her would come
true. It would, but after the woman
left, Kate’s husband had a question. He
noted that Kate had seemed distressed to give the woman the good news. His wife was usually glad when she could help
or give encouragement to a friend, a neighbor or a relative. This time, however, she seemed upset even
though she had told the woman what she wanted to hear. Had she lied to the woman to make her feel
better? Hadn’t she seen the man recovering
from his injuries as she said? What else
had she seen? Why was she not happy to
tell a wife that her husband would live?
As soon as the farmer’s wife had left, Kate’s husband asked her what was
troubling her? Wasn’t the neighbor’s
husband going to survive? Was he going
to be disabled if he did survive? What
was wrong?
“He will survive,” Kate began with confidence, “but
next year, she will wish that he hadn’t.”
Her comment seemed so unusual that her husband
persisted. He was now convinced that she
must mean that the man would survive but only with such disabilities that he
would be a burden to his young family for as long as he lived. He shook his head with sadness as he asked
his wife to explain what she meant. He,
too, was a farmer and knew how he feared ever being a burden to his own
family. A farmer who could not work in
his fields could not feed his family. That is a family tragedy. He could understand his wife’s reticence to
tell a family that they faced such a burden.
After all, right now, they feared that he would not live. To tell them that they might wish that he
hadn’t could be too much for them to face at the moment. He knew the man and wanted to know what his
disability would be. Perhaps he could
help them when he recovered.
Kate quickly dispelled her husband’s fears that the
man would be disabled. That was not what
her comment had meant at all. The farmer
would certainly fully recover from his concussion and broken ribs. She knew this with certainty for Kate had
come to both accept and believe in the visions that she saw whenever anyone
asked her about a sick or injured relative.
She knew that her visions usually came true. However, her visions were not what she would
tell the relatives or even the doctor when he asked for they would ask whether
or not the patient would recover or if the medicine or treatment was correct or
would be effective. To answer their
questions, Kate would try to see the patient about whom they inquired, as he or
she would be in six months or a year from the time of the illness or
accident. If the person looked all right
then, then she would answer in the affirmative.
The patient would recover. If she
could not picture the person as he or she would be in the months or years
ahead, then she would tell the inquirer only that she could not see the patient
well again. She did not like to give bad
news. She sometimes was able to tell a
person who really wanted to know how he or she would die, but she shunned that
part of her gift. This time, though, it
was not the man’s possible death that had troubled her. She told her husband, “He will fully recover. I saw him perfectly able by this time next
year.”
“Then what’s wrong?” asked her husband, more
perplexed than before. “What did you see that is troubling you?”
“I know that he will be all right because I saw him
driving a team of horses next year. He
was riding in a buckboard wagon, going off with a woman, and it was not his
wife,” Kate answered.
Her husband was stunned and did not say another
word, not then, nor the following year when the man, fully recovered from his
injuries, did indeed run off with another woman, leaving his wife and four
children to fend for themselves. The
wife, who had nursed her husband back to health with the help of her children,
was often heard by her neighbors wishing that he had not survived, for if he
had not, then they might have been saved the trauma of his abandoning them.
One of Kate’s cousins would become famous as the
She did tell her husband how she and he would
die. What had prompted him to ask, she
did not know, but just as she answered the questions of so many others, she
answered her husband’s.
“Old man Sullivan, fifteen years after I am in my
grave, you will die in a bog,” she told him each time he asked. She never wavered in her vision and accepted
that she would die before her husband.
Her husband did not know what to think of her vision for they lived in
Kate predeceased her husband. After she died, the couple’s son and his wife
moved in to help his father. He was
elderly and though he was still quite active, the son and his wife took over on
the farm work. His father helped and
walked to town at least once a week to visit with friends. Old man Sullivan as he was known (his wife
had never used his first name and their friends and his had adopted her habit)
met his friends at the general store where they would sit around the wood
stove, talk and visit for a few hours and then go home. Sullivan always left the store in time to
return home before dark.
His visits to his friends were the highlight of his
week. He met them every Friday for
years. Then, one Friday, he did not
return to the farm before dark. His
family became concerned but thought that perhaps he had decided to stay in town
at a friend’s house. If so, then surely
he would be home in the morning in time to do his farm chores. He wasn’t.
The family contacted his friends who told them that he had left the
general store as usual. His family
organized a search party to look for old man Sullivan.
When they found old man Sullivan, he was lying face
down in a swamp in the woods. He
normally took a shortcut through the woods on his way home. The doctor later told them that he had
suffered a heart attack and died where he fell in the swamp or bog as the Irish
called such terrain.
After old man Sullivan’s death, the story of his
wife’s ability was passed from generation to generation. Kate’s story and ability were, however,
thought to be unique. No one thought
that her ability might be genetically linked.
None ever thought that the same ability might appear again in any of her
descendants.
When Jonathan was born, he was possibly the last one
anyone would have thought would inherit this ability from his great-grandmother
twice removed. He was born deaf. His deafness, however, was not diagnosed
until he was three years of age. It took
operation after operation for doctors to establish and bring Jonathan’s hearing
at minimal levels. His deafness was not
his only medical problem. The number of emergency
surgeries or hospitalizations he required seemed to stay equal with his
age. Few in his family believed that the
boy would survive. Each year that he did
was cause for genuine family celebration.
By age five, Jonathan had defied the odds. He had survived repeated operations,
life-threatening erythema multiforma, staphylococci, streptococci and
pneumococci infections, broken limbs, more than one near drowning and other
numerous illnesses and accidental injuries.
Moreover, the determination and love of life that he evidenced in his
approach to life won him the admiration of many of his relatives. Jonathan did not live each day. He enthusiastically leapt into the adventure
of what every day brought. He was
undaunted by the pain and suffering that had been too much a part of his early
existence. It was as though the pain of
the surgeries, illnesses, broken bones, contusions and the isolation of illness
had only made him more determined to take all that he could from every
day.
He did not awake and slowly get out of bed. He purposely chose to sleep in the top bunk
of his bed so he could jump out of bed every morning. He did so with such enthusiasm that the
ceiling light in the room below his broke with the vibration and had to be
replaced more than once. He similarly
jumped down the stairs and then raced to the table to eat breakfast. He ran everywhere and he ran as fast as he
could. He loved to run and he loved to
play. His best friend was his
grandmother with whom he had seemed to form a special bond on the day he was
born. She was his best friend, his ally,
his playmate, the sharer of dreams, his confidante and his most supportive
admirer. Jonathan loved and respected
her. The little boy was sensitive to her feelings and careful of her opinion of
him in ways he was not with anyone else.
Whenever the boy balked at obeying a rule or request, his mother had
only to suggest that they call his grandmother and request her opinion and the
boy would immediately acquiesce. He knew
that he was his Grandma’s little angel and he was determined to do nothing to
tarnish his golden halo. For her part,
Betty relished the special place she held in Jonathan’s heart. She had helped care for the boy since he was
born. She minded him after school each
day while his mother worked.
It was possibly because of his age and his
attachment for his grandmother that Jonathan’s family at first did not
understand what he tried to tell them.
He was, after all, only five years old, and because of his hearing deficit,
he did not have the language facilities of other children his age. In some ways though, his communication skills
exceeded those of his classmates. The
school’s psychologist had tested Jonathan when he entered kindergarten. The school was not certain that because of
his hearing and speech problems, he should be placed in a regular
classroom. They were surprised to find
that Jonathan scored in the superior range for closure. The test for closure showed that although
Jonathan might only hear one or two sounds in a sentence spoken by another, the
little boy had the ability to interpret exactly what was being communicated to
him from just those one or two cues.
With special seating (in the front row), Jonathan entered the regular
classroom.
Although Jonathan had not shown any tendencies for
imaginary play during his early years, when he first started to try to tell
those about him what he sensed, they misinterpreted his actions and words as
coming from a child’s active imagination.
He was, after all, only five.
What he was saying and doing had horrible implications, he could not
possibly know what his words or actions meant--or could he?
Jonathan’s actions and words also happened all of a
sudden. It was as though someone had
flipped a switch. There was no hint or
warning. He just suddenly simply declared one afternoon that his grandfather’s
summer house was his.
“That is my cabin now,” said Jonathan, pointing to
the summer screen house that his grandfather had designed and built for himself
several years before the young boy was born.
The authority with which the small boy spoke as he
pointed to the summer screen house made his grandparents smile and laugh. Jack and Betty Cole were
a middle-aged couple who were deeply devoted to each other and their
family. Jack was a strong, well-built
man who had run his own business for many years. He had only given it up a couple of years
before. He still worked full time and
used the screen house as an office from which he managed his investments. Jack had a good sense of humor and admired
his grandson’s “spunky spirit”. They
often conflicted when he had to discipline him, but even then, his grandson’s
strong will just as often brought a smile of admiration to his grandfather’s
face. He and his wife loved watching the
young boy. However, they were surprised
at Jonathan’s serious demeanor as he made his declaration.
Jack did not believe in extra sensory
perception. His wife did. However,
neither thought that e.s.p. explained Jonathan’s claim to his grandfather’s
possessions that day. Like her husband,
she often found herself smiling at Jonathan’s strength and spirit. She smiled now as she listened to the
exchange between her husband and impetuous grandson.
“Since when?” Jack began to teasingly
correct the young boy. “That is my
cabin, Jonathan, but I will share it with you,” his grandfather offered.
The boy seemed to take no note of his grandfather’s
smile or the laughter in his voice.
Matter-of-factly, the boy repeated, “No, it is my cabin now.”
“The little shyster,” his grandfather commented to
his wife while laughingly shaking his head.
Betty returned her husband’s smile in
agreement. Their grandson certainly had
quite an imagination. He had had such a
rough time as an infant and toddler. All
those illnesses! Her husband and she had
often wondered if and how he had survived.
Now, he was such a handful to discipline and watch. She and her husband had to stay alert every
day that he visited with them. Part of
their strategy was to present a united front to Jonathan. Her husband supported her in what she said to
their grandson. Now, it was her turn.
“That is grandpa’s cabin, Jonathan,” Betty corrected
her grandson. Her tone was not critical,
but it was firm. She expected Jonathan
to realize that she spoke the truth and to capitulate, for though the child
might answer anyone else, from the beginning, she and Jonathan had had a
special bond. This was the one of her
grandchildren that seemed to love her more than all others. Jonathan might defy the authority of his
mother or anyone else who attempted to discipline the little boy, but not his
grandmother. She had but to speak and
any offensive behavior or word immediately stopped. The family had marveled at her power over the
boy. Jonathan seemed to measure himself
and to pride himself in being “Grandma’s good boy.” The little boy’s whole being seemed to
brighten whenever his grandmother called him by that appellation. His smile would broaden to a grin every time
his grandmother introduced him or told his mother that he had been so well
behaved that he had earned that praise.
Betty was therefore surprised at Jonathan’s response.
“He’s not going to need it anymore,” Jonathan
protested.
His grandmother shook her head in resignation and
smiled at her husband. They might as
well change the subject and forget the incident. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery
thought Betty and the boy must be playing grandpa today. She decided to divert the young child.
“Let’s have lunch,” she said. She had prepared a snack for the three of
them. On warm days like this in early
May, the three of them enjoyed having a lunch together at the picnic table in
the backyard. Jonathan usually would
puff with pride as he carried out the napkins or paper plates and plastic
silverware. His grandmother had taught
him how to set each place at the table, where to place the plate, the
silverware and napkins. He would also
carry out any condiments and, if he were really good and careful, sometimes his
grandmother would let him carry one of the platters of sandwiches or food to
the table. He really felt special when
he earned that responsibility.
After their snack, his grandparents kept Jonathan
occupied helping his grandfather weed the garden that they had planted
together. His grandfather planted a
vegetable garden each year as a hobby.
Jonathan enjoyed helping him plant the seeds and pulling out any weeds
that might choke the young plants.
Later, they would water the garden and he knew that if he was good, his
grandfather would let him get wet under the spray of the hose.
Preoccupied with the gardening and watching Jonathan
play farmer and then splash in the water, his grandparents forgot about his
declaration and claim to the screen house.
They did not mention the incident to their daughter that day or on the
succeeding days when Jonathan continued to call the screen house “his
cabin”. Jack and Betty were certain that
it was just their grandson’s imagination.
Jonathan knew that the cabin belonged to his grandfather.
What Jonathan did a week later alarmed them so much
that they were waiting for his mother when she returned from work to pick up
her young son.
Jonathan had spent the whole day with his
grandparents. Normally when he did, he
accompanied his grandmother on any of her errands. Jonathan loved going shopping with his
grandmother who at times welcomed his energy for Jonathan would fetch products
for her and helped carry packages. The
little boy was exceptionally strong for his age. Today, however, she had several appointments
and left her grandson to “help” his grandfather in the garden. When she returned, Jonathan was not out in
the backyard pulling weeds or splashing under the spray from the hose. He was sitting at the dining room table,
reading old advertisements and wearing her husband’s eyeglasses.
Betty was at first shocked. She reminded herself that imitation is the
sincerest form of flattery. She did not
want to make too much of the incident.
Patience, she advised herself. She
would not make a lot of the event and it, too, would pass.
“What are you doing, Jonathan?” she began as she
entered the dining room.
“Reading my mail,” answered the boy in the same
matter-of-fact voice that had come to characterize all of his recent utterances
about his taking over his grandfather’s possessions and responsibilities.
“And are you Grandpa, now?” Betty playfully asked.
“I am reading my mail,” Jonathan responded in a no
nonsense tone as though the young boy was annoyed at the question and at being
interrupted.
“Okay,” said his grandmother as she signaled to her
husband to come see his little copycat imposter.
“Time to take Grandpa’s glasses off now, Jonathan,”
Betty commanded gently after her husband and she had exchanged smiles over the
sight of the little boy playing Grandpa.
“They could hurt your eyes. You
don’t need eyeglasses and Grandpa does.
Give Grandpa his glasses.”
“They’re my eyeglasses,” responded Jonathan in the
same authoritative tone in which he had claimed the summerhouse.
“Jonathan, you know that the eyeglasses belong to
Grandpa. It is time to stop playing and
to give them to him,” Betty chided in a sterner tone.
“Call me Honey.
I’m your ‘Honey’ now,” the boy defiantly demanded.
His grandmother was stunned. For a moment, she did not know what to
say. She had not expected that answer or
any answer or defiance. The boy who had
always obeyed her every command without question was challenging and
instructing her. Was he growing up too
quickly? Did they spoil him? Was he
exhibiting a behavior problem? Her
daughter had joked that all she ever had to do to get Jonathan to obey her
instructions was to hint that she would tell Grandma if he did not. Jonathan would immediately acquiesce and beg
his mother that he did not want Grandma to thank that he ever did anything
wrong. Now, he was defying her with a
tone of authority. Was he too attached
to her? She looked to her husband for
support.
“Take my eyeglasses off now, Jonathan,” her husband
said in an equally firm no-nonsense voice.
“They’re mine now,”
Jonathan protested as he turned to his grandmother to plead, “He doesn’t need
them anymore.” When his grandmother
stood by her husband, the little boy complied and handed over the eyeglasses.
When his mother came to pick him up, her parents
detailed Jonathan’s utterances and unusual behavior to her. His mother was surprised. She could not believe that her young son
would disobey Grandma or say what he had to her. The implications of what he said were too horrible
to consider. She instantly felt both
guilt and bewilderment at her son’s actions and utterances. She did not know what could be motivating her
son. He did not act in this manner at
home. He did not attempt to take over
anyone else’s possessions or to be anyone but himself.
Perhaps it was time to find another daycare center
for her son? Her mother would not like
Jonathan’s attending daycare, but there was less than a month left until school
vacation. As a professional educator,
she appreciated and needed the summer off.
Obviously, her son needed her full attention. As a single parent, she had appreciated her
parents’ insistence that her son stay with them while she worked, but maybe he
was just too much for them to handle.
She could not afford the added expense of daycare, but she also did not
want her parents upset. She would call
some of the centers tonight when they reached home and enroll Jonathan as soon
as possible. She quickly gathered her
son’s things and thanked her parents as they left.
On the way home, she asked Jonathan what he had
done. Had she not taught her young son
not to touch other people’s property and especially not his grandparents’
things? It was one thing to play being
someone else; it was another thing to take things without permission or to
claim the property of another. That was
not playing pretend. That was wrong. He
must apologize to his grandparents. She
knew he loved his grandmother, but that did not mean that she should call him
by the same term of endearment that his grandfather did. That was insolent and not permitted. His grandmother loved him as did his
grandfather and mother, but as Jonathan.
He did not need to become his grandfather to be loved. Jonathan was quiet, but he continued to
maintain what he had said was correct.
He knew it and she would see.
Later that evening after Jonathan had gone to bed,
she telephoned her parents. She had
called some of the local daycare centers and the babysitter’s network. She would know the next day how soon one or
the other could take Jonathan. She appreciated her parents’ help but she did
not want her son to be a burden to them.
They protested the idea of Jonathan’s going to a babysitter or daycare. He was just imaginative and in need of firm, loving discipline.
Except for this recent unusual behavior, Jonathan was well behaved. They loved having him with them. He was so full of life and loved them
both. He fitted well into their routines
and assisted with the gardening, shopping, etc.
He had so much energy and was affectionate with them. Between the three of them, her parents were
certain that they could succeed in correcting this behavior problem before it
developed into anything serious. The boy
was just imitating his grandfather and seeking re-assurance that he was first
in his grandmother’s heart.
Over the next week, however, Jonathan was even more
insistent that his grandmother call him “Honey”. It was a nickname that her husband had only
used with her in private. He also would
kiss her and hold her hand as they lay in bed watching television together or
when they went for a walk. Jonathan now
sought to emulate this behavior with her as well. A couple of times Betty also thought that she
had heard Jonathan call her by an even more intimate nickname, one that she
thought that only she and her husband knew.
Betty and her husband continued to meet this
aberrant behavior with patience and firmness.
They were convinced that their young grandson was merely jealous of his
grandfather and having his first romantic feelings toward his grandmother. With love and discipline, surely Jonathan
would “outgrow” this stage as he had outgrown so many others. He had come so very far since the doctors had
first operated to establish his hearing.
Betty had taught him how to speak and to even sing in French. It was hard for Jonathan for he had missed so
much of that early discipline. They would help him overcome this overly active
imagination as well.
Maybe, Betty thought, Jonathan is only continuing
his play-acting as her husband because he sees that it gets him attention. We are over reacting because of Jack’s
health. Jack had retired early because
he had developed a slight heart murmur.
The doctors had reassured them that it was not unusual and that Jack
would be all right. He did not seem to
have any blockage, just an intermittent infrequent arrhythmia. He had seemed more tired than usual lately
but that was not unusual with the change of seasons. Besides, he had a doctor’s appointment in a
week. She would bring it up to the
doctor. Perhaps her husband was doing
too much work in his garden. The more
she thought about him, the more she became concerned.
In truth, Jack had not been well for a couple of
years. He had retired early from the
police force because of his heart condition.
He had sold the family business.
He was under a doctor’s care and Betty made sure that he did what the
doctor advised. However, Jack did seem
to be tiring more now. As a registered
nurse, she knew to monitor his vital signs and they appeared stable. His appetite was off a bit, but his weight
seemed stable. Jack could also afford to
lose a little weight. It would be good
for his heart. She would write down and
mention all of her observations and concerns to her husband’s doctor during
Jack’s appointment next week.
Jack never made the appointment. Before the appointment, he was taken to the
hospital with acute myocardial infarction, a heart attack. The doctor said that the attack was severe,
but that Jack would survive. His
recovery would just take time. He would
be hospitalized about three weeks and would have to rest the remainder of the
summer, but he would otherwise be all right.
Jonathan did not believe the doctors. From the moment his grandfather was admitted
to the hospital, he begged to see him.
He was adamant. He said that he
had something to tell him. His mother
presumed it was an apology although she did not know if her son remembered or
understood what his declarations had implied.
She shivered to think of the implications of those declarations even as
she answered her son’s pleadings each day.
“The hospital has rules Jonathan,” she invariably
said each night in response to his increasingly emotional demands to see her
father. “They don’t let little children
in to visit patients in Grandpa’s unit.”
“Why not?” challenged Jonathan again and again.
“Because Grandpa is in the
Coronary Care Unit (CCU) where nurses care for patients who have had heart
attacks.
A heart attack can leave a patient weak and susceptible to other diseases. Young children often have colds and other
infections that heart patients do not have the strength to fight and some young
children do not understand that the patients need quiet time to rest. Since the patients need to focus all of their
strength on recuperating and getting better, the hospitals try to protect them
by barring young visitors,” his mother explained patiently. She had thought that Jonathan would
understand this because she had first explained it relating Grandpa’s ward to
the Intensive Care Unit. Her young son
still remembered when he was a patient of an Intensive Care Unit for three
weeks. Jonathan, however, was not so
easily dissuaded.
“I won’t,” protested Jonathan. “I’m not sick now and I would not give
Grandpa a disease or disturb him. I just
have to see him.”
It was the same every afternoon and every night as
Jonathan’s mother tried to comfort her son and put him to bed. She explained the rules to him again and
again. Hospital regulations, which were
like laws or school rules, forbade his visit.
Even she, a grown-up and his daughter, could only see Grandpa for a
brief twenty minutes a day while he was a patient in the CCU.
Jonathan was unconvinced. He protested. He was and
would not acquiesce as readily as his mother had. His mother caught him several times trying to
use the telephone. He would pick up the
receiver and dial the operator. When the
operator answered, he would ask her to connect him to the person he wanted to
call. The first time that Jonathan tried
to place a call he asked for the head of the hospital. He was certain that if he spoke to the man
and explained that he, Jonathan, had no infections or illnesses that he would
give to his grandfather and would be very good if he could just see him, then
the man would realize that his rule or law barring small children from visiting
patients in the CCU should not apply to him.
He was certain that if he understood then he would let him see his
grandpa. His problem was that he did not
know the exact name of the hospital. He
called to his mother and when she came into the room, she immediately took the
telephone from him and spoke to the operator.
“I’m sorry,” she told the operator. “My father has had a heart attack. My son loves him very much and wants so very
desperately to see him. My son is only
five and does not understand that he cannot see his grandfather right now. Thank you for your understanding.”
His mother then hung up the telephone and tried
again to explain the rules to Jonathan.
He challenged her to call the head of the hospital but she said that he
was not there at that time. It was seven
in the evening. Jonathan’s
bed time. Hospital presidents did
not work at seven in the evening. She
agreed to ask the nurses tomorrow when they could expect grandpa to be
transferred from the CCU to a regular hospital room where Jonathan might be
permitted to see him.
Jonathan was not appeased by her offer. He complained that when grandpa transferred
from the CCU, it would be too late. His
mother told him not to be so impatient.
Jonathan sulked. If the president
of the hospital was not available or willing to allow him to see his
grandfather, he would have to try someone who might listen to him. He next tried to call the mayor of the city
where the hospital was located. Jonathan
knew that the mayor knew his grandfather.
He had been with Grandpa one day when they met the mayor. His grandfather told him later that the mayor
and he had been friends for many years.
He would tell the mayor who he was and ask him to tell the president of
the hospital or the nurses to let him see his grandfather. Surely, the mayor of the city had the
authority to order the hospital to let him visit if only for a few
minutes. His mother caught him as he
attempted to have the operator place the call for he had had to ask his mother
for the name of the city and the mayor.
She again attempted to explain to him but told him as she had with the
president of the hospital that he could not call the mayor of the city for
help.
Jonathan was upset.
He could not call the president of the hospital or the mayor. The nurses had not been able to tell his
mother when he could visit Grandpa and besides, he knew that when Grandpa left
the CCU, it would be too late for Jonathan to visit him and say what he
urgently wanted to tell him.
At first opportunity, Jonathan tried to call the
governor of the state and then the President of the
Jonathan was inconsolable. His mother had hoped that as time went by and
her father began to recover, Jonathan would calm down and accept that he would
be able to see her father as soon as he was transferred to a regular hospital
ward and able to have general visitors.
With each passing day, her son not only did not calm down or forget the
calls, but rather, seemed more and more upset.
He insisted over and over again that he had to see his grandfather while
he was still in the CCU. He had
something very important to tell him and only he, Jonathan, could tell
him. No one else could deliver his
message to his grandfather for him. He
would not even tell his mother what the message was.
His mother told her mother of Jonathan’s strange
behavior. It seemed to comfort her
mother that Jonathan was so sensitive had so much love and concern for his
grandfather. Both women were shocked at his determination and the calls. Neither had ever heard of a little child so
young making such demands or having the presence to be willing to call the presidents
of institutions, politicians and event he President of the
Both women wondered what Jonathan’s all-important secret
message was for his grandfather. The
fact that he would not even allow his mother to deliver it to Grandpa when she
visited each day convinced the two women that it was an apology for his recent
behavior. Her mother was sympathetic
toward her young grandson’s dilemma.
This display of a guilty conscience proved that she was right. Her young grandson, although obviously very
strong willed and determined of character, was a good boy. Jonathan’s actions became as much a part of
their nightly calls as the positive updates on her father’s seemingly improving
condition with which the doctors and nurses greeted her each day. She was grateful that both seemed to help her
mother cope with her father’s condition.
The next day was Saturday. One of her father’s doctors whom she knew
personally called that morning to let her know that the medical team was so
encouraged that they now believed that her father would be released from the
hospital and able to return home within two to three weeks. Her heart jumped for joy. She called her mother immediately to share
the good news. They decided that
although the next day was Father’s Day, they would postpone the celebration of
the holiday until Grandpa returned home and could enjoy the day with all of the
family in familiar surroundings. That
would also allow him more time to rest the next day. They would give him cards, but as agreed with
her mother, she would tell her father that the full celebration of the holiday
would be held when he was home. The two
women believed that Jack would welcome the news and understand the
postponement. He had not even wanted to go to the hospital when the heart
attack occurred.
Both women thought that the news would calm
Jonathan. It would assuage his guilt for
both were now convinced that the little boy had only reacted as he had the last
several days out of guilt for taking his grandfather‘s glasses and claiming his
summer house. Two weeks was a long time
for a little boy, but they were certain that the news that Grandpa was recovering
and would be all right, Jonathan would accept the wait and stop trying to call
the President of the
As soon as she hung up the telephone, Jonathan’s
mother called her son to her. She was
elated to tell him the good news she had received from the doctor. She expected her son to smile and to give her
a hug in celebration. He did not.
Jonathan had been doing extra chores all week
(picking up his toys, straightening the covers on his bed and putting his clean
clothes in his bureau drawers) to earn extra money to buy a Father’s Day card
for his grandfather. His mother had
agreed to pay him the extra spending money for the “chores” were
responsibilities that she was trying to teach her young son and while he was
engaged in doing his chores, she did not have to worry about his calling the
President or who knows whom else. She
wondered what her telephone bill would be like this month. Had her son connected on any of his
calls? She shook her head. She did not have time to worry about that
now. Now, was a time to enjoy the good
news and to feel relieved. She just wished that her young son could feel
the relief she did. She decided to
concentrate her attention on him.
Jonathan had devised a plan. He would pick out a special card and sign it
himself. Although he was only in
kindergarten, Jonathan could already write his own name and certain words. He had practiced the words he wanted to write
in the card. He would go to the hospital
with his mother and use the card to try to see his Grandpa. It was his last desperate effort to reach his
grandfather.
Disappointed at her inability to cheer her son,
Jonathan’s mother acquiesced to his demand that they go to the nearest gift
shop to buy his Father’s Day card for Grandpa.
Perhaps this will teach him a lesson she thought and do some good. He will spend the money I paid him this week
and will have to do more chores (that will keep out of other mischief) in order
to buy another card or gift for grandpa when he comes home from the hospital
and the family holds a belated Father’s Day celebration. Maybe Jonathan will learn some patience, to
listen a little better, to trust and maybe, just maybe, not to challenge the
rules so much. His mother let out a deep
sigh. It had been a very stressful
couple of days. She felt bad for her
young son. The thought of losing his
grandfather and thinking himself guilty for it must have been a terrible burden
for him. The outing to buy his Father’s
Day card for Grandpa would be a good time for both of them. She, too, needed to relax.
At the gift shop, Jonathan insisted that his mother
read every Father’s Day card that was on display in the section marked to
Grandpa to him so that he could decide which one said what he wanted. Normally, his mother thought, Jonathan would
make his own card.
She wondered why he had wanted a store bought card, but attributed this
change to how upset he had been over his grandfather’s hospitalization. As soon as Jonathan heard her read the card
with the message that he wanted he insisted that she give him the card. He wanted to take the card to the check out
cashier himself. At the cashier’s
Jonathan reached into his pockets where he had emptied the money he had saved
all week from his chores plus some extra he had taken from his piggy bank just
in case the card cost more than he had been able to earn. This was to be his card, his message to his
grandfather and no one else’s. He would
pay for it all by himself. His mother
stood back and gave a knowing smile at the cashier.
“This is Jonathan’s card for his Grandpa. Grandpa is in the hospital. Jonathan worked all week to buy this card,”
his mother told the cashier in a voice that at once showed pride in her young
son’s act of love and begged understanding of this moment. Jonathan was only five years of age, but he
was all grown up in his love for his grandfather and his buying of the
card. The cashier responded by smiling
at the little boy as she handed him his change.
Jonathan thanked the woman, placed the change in his pocket and took the
small bag that contained his card for Grandpa.
Once Jonathan and his mother had returned to her
car, Jonathan removed the card from the bag.
“Aren’t you going to wait until we get home?” his mother asked.
“No,” said Jonathan.
“I want to sign it and deliver it now to the hospital.”
“Here we go again,” thought his mother. She shook
her head as she realized that her son was just as determined as ever to see his
grandfather.
Jonathan interrupted his mother’s thoughts by asking
her for a pen so that he could sign the card himself. He had already decided that he would write
the message himself, sign and address the card all by himself. Jonathan knew
how to sign his own name. He had even
been practicing it all week. He knew
that tomorrow was Father’s Day. He had
wanted to surprise his grandpa by signing his own card. He also knew how to write the letters of the
alphabet. He had decided that if he
asked his mother to slowly spell the words he wanted to write, then he,
Jonathan, could complete his card for grandpa all by himself. He now shared with his mother what he wanted
to do. He wanted to write out the card
himself and have his mother take him to the hospital to deliver the card.
His mother offered that she could take the card with
her when she went to visit her father that afternoon, but Jonathan was
insistent. She was too elated to argue
with her son. Besides, she thought about
the lesson he might learn from having to buy another card in two weeks and she
was amazed at his independence. She had
been teaching children most of her life and had never encountered a five-year
old who had shown such initiative and determination. In spite of his stubbornness and the
difficulties it presented this past week, she was proud of her son. She would spell out the words for him so he
could complete the card and allow him to go with her to deliver it to the
hospital. Certainly, there was no harm
in allowing him this satisfaction.
Afterward, she would have a talk with him and explain how his irrational
determination and insistence on buying and delivering the card today meant that
if he wanted another card to give Grandpa at the family’s celebration of
Father’s Day, then he would have to do more extra chores and save his spending
money all over again.
Jonathan filled in his name first because he knew
how to do that all by himself. He also
knew how to spell the word in the message that he wanted to give his
grandfather. Finally, he asked his
mother to say the letters in the word “Grandpa” very slowly so that he had time
to write them on the front of his card.
He also asked her to spell out the number of his room so that the card
could be delivered. Jonathan did not
tell his mother that he intended to try to deliver the card himself. He knew that she would object and only tell
him that he could not if he told her that part of his plan so he decided to
keep that secret. It took him a few
minutes to print out the message on the card.
He told his mother not to try to peek and she did not. That was one of the things he loved about his
mother. She let him have his secrets.
When the card was finished, he placed it in the
envelope, licked the envelope and sealed it.
When his mother asked why, he said that it was because he wanted only
Grandpa to see his message. That secrecy
convinced his mother that her son was feeling remorse for his recent
behavior. She agreed to take him to the
hospital for she wanted him to share her joy at the news that Grandpa was going
to recover and be all right and knew that he could only do so when he no longer
felt guilty over his playing Grandpa and trying to take his place and things.
It was only a short drive to the hospital. Jonathan was quiet as his mother drove. He looked out the car window. His mother wondered if he wasn’t trying to
memorize the route to the hospital.
Being Jonathan’s mother was certainly a challenging job at times. She wondered if his strong determination was
a remnant of his earlier health problems and deafness. She also thought about her father. How he would chuckle when he received the
card. He would know immediately that
Jonathan had signed and addressed the card all by himself. In her mind, she could hear her father
chuckling and saying with pride, “The little shyster” as he read the card. She knew that receiving the card would bring
her father joy as well. He would
understand and proudly show the nurses and doctors what his little grandson had
given him. Imagine a five-year old
working to buy a card, picking it out and completing it all by himself and even overseeing its delivery. The more she thought about how her father
would react to receiving Jonathan’s card, the better Jonathan’s mother felt
about their whole excursion. This will
teach Jonathan a lesson and bring his grandfather some happiness. Today was a good day.
As they drove up to the front door of the hospital,
Jonathan suddenly opened the door. “You
wait in the car,” he instructed his mother in a voice that almost sounded grown
up. “I can deliver the card myself.”
“Just to the front desk,
Jonathan. Tell the nurse to take it to your grandfather. She will,” said his mother quite
bewildered. She had planned to go with
Jonathan but he was already out of the car and through the door. She did not
even know if he heard all that she had to say.
She could not park here. It was a
no parking fire zone. She did not dare
drive to the parking lot or she would lose sight of Jonathan. If she left the car, the police or guard
would surely be on her immediately for blocking the entrance. She could see Jonathan from the car so
perhaps it was all right to indulge him this last time. She would certainly
include a scolding for this further impetuousness when she spoke to him upon
his return.
As she watched, Jonathan passed the receptionist’s
desk. Fire zone or not, she would have
to leave the car. She could not risk her
son’s getting lost or being in danger.
What possessed that child anyway!
Before she could exit the car, she saw a nurse approaching the front
desk. She was holding Jonathan by the
hand. Her son appeared to be speaking to
the nurse. He held his card up, and
after a few more words, he gave it to the nurse. Then, he turned to leave the hospital.
At least now he will know that I did not make up the
rules and that the rules are enforced by the hospital. His mother took another deep sigh as Jonathan
jumped back into the front passenger’s seat of the car. Now that she knew that he was safe, she would
give him a very stern lecture. However,
when she looked at her son, he looked sad.
“What happened Jonathan?”
his mother began.
“I thought that I could take the card to Grandpa all
by myself, but the nurse would not let me get on the elevator. I told her that I had to give the card to my
grandfather who was in room 322 in the CCU, that I only wanted to see him to
give him the card and a kiss and that I would not make him sick or misbehave or
talk too much, but she said that I was too little and not allowed to see
him. I told her that it was important
and that she could come with me, but she said that the hospital rules did not
allow me to visit him. I guess you were
right Mommy,” the boy concluded, obviously disappointed that his plan to see
his grandfather had not worked.
“You gave her the card, Jonathan?” his mother
inquired. She knew that he had but
thought to keep her son talking. She would
try to explain and re-assure him that everything would be all right. Her heart hurt for her young son. So much grief, guilt and pain at such a young
age! He now looked like the little boy
that he was in contrast to a few moments ago, before he entered the hospital
when he appeared almost twice his age. He had seemed so in command and so
organized, so determined. Now, he was
again just her young son.
“I gave her the car and asked her to take the card
to Grandpa right away. I told her to
tell Grandpa that it was from me and to open it right away. I showed her Grandpa’s name on the front of
the envelope and told her to make sure that she did not forget and only gave it
to him. I told her it was very, very
important. She said that she would
deliver it as soon as she could leave the desk.
Then I thanked her like you said I should, told
her Grandpa’s name again and came back to the car.”
“Are you happy now that you delivered the card to
Grandpa?” asked his mother.
Jonathan did not respond to her at first so as she
started to drive away, she continued, “The doctor told us this morning that
Grandpa would fully recover and be able to come home in two to three
weeks. I told you that this morning. I brought you to the hospital because you
seemed upset that Grandpa was sick, but we will be celebrating Father’s Day
when Grandpa returns from the hospital.
Maybe you should have waited to give Grandpa your card in person when he
comes home. Now, if you want to give him
a card or gift then, you will have to earn more money for one.”
“No, I won’t,” Jonathan declared in a tone of voice
so strong that it shook his mother. It
was the tone he had used when challenged about taking over on some of his
grandfather’s things. She had thought
that the trip to the hospital was about his asking his grandfather to forgive
him for taking his things, but there was no remorse in Jonathan’s voice.
“Why?” his mother automatically responded without a
pause.
“Because I had to tell him today,” answered
Jonathan.
“Tell him what, Jonathan?” asked his mother becoming
a little disturbed at her son and confused about his behavior. If this trip wasn’t about his saying he was
sorry to his grandpa for his playing grandpa, what was it about? What had Jonathan written in his card? What message had he kept secret all week?
“Tell him that I love him,” answered Jonathan with
tears in his eyes.
His mother’s eyes now also welled with tears as she
looked at her sad little boy. She had
been so filled with grief and fears this past week and had tried to shelter
Jonathan from it, had it only hurt her son more? She had tried to explain her father’s
condition to him, tried to prepare him should grandpa not come home and shared
with him the joy of the good news. Maybe
she had only added to his grief? She had
tried to have him talk to her about how he felt, but he had refused to do so
from the first. He had instead kept
himself occupied with his campaign to see his grandfather. Maybe that was just his way of working out
his fear and grief, she thought as she attempted to console him.
“He knows that, Jonathan,” she said in a quiet
voice. “But you can tell him that again
when he comes home. Grandpa always loves
to hear you say that.”
“No,” shouted Jonathan, his frustration at his
mother’s not understanding what he was trying to say and at what was happening
suddenly erupting. Why didn’t others see
what he saw? Why didn’t they know what
he knew? Why did grownups keep him from
seeing his grandfather this last time?
Why did they insist on saying things that were not going to happen or
making rules that hurt people?
“Why not?” demanded his mother becoming as upset as
her son.
“Because when Grandpa comes home from the hospital,
he won’t be able to hear me,” answered her son.
“Grandpa’s a bit hard of hearing, Jonathan. You can understand that, but Grandpa can always hear you when you tell him that you love him,”
she responded, trying to keep control of the situation and her own fears and
emotions. Her son must be feeling grief
even deeper than what they thought. She
would discuss it with her mother when they reached home. Maybe Jonathan had picked up his
grandmother’s grief? Because of his early deafness, Jonathan seemed to have
developed almost antennae with which to pick up the feelings of those about
him. That is it. He has been frightened by our fears for his
grandfather’s recovery and health. I
will talk to him about it and have mother talk to him as well. The poor child, it must be frightening, for
he has been in and out of hospitals and knows how frightening the experience
can be.
“No,” Jonathan countered as quickly as she finished.
“Why not?” his mother challenged becoming upset at
her son’s insistence and attitude. Why
was her son so negative? Why won’t he
accept her wisdom and understanding? She
knew that she was correct. Grandparents
always heard their grandchildren’s declarations of love, regardless of how hard
of hearing they were.
“Because when Grandpa comes from the hospital, he
will be with God,” Jonathan declared with a finality that ended the
conversation.
His mother wanted to protest, but she found herself
too upset to speak. She would talk to
her son when they reached home, after she had had a chance to calm down and
speak with her mother. Maybe her mother
would have some ideas on what she could say to calm her son’s fears, help him
through this emotional crisis and assure him that everything would be all
right.
“Oh, Jonathan, why did you have to have this upset
today,” she thought. “Today,
when the news was so wonderful that my heart was ready to sing. Today, when I felt the weight of the universe
lifted from my shoulders with the promise that Grandpa was going to
recover. Today, when I wanted to share
my joy and relief with you? Oh my son,”
she thought, “you are just a child, an obviously very frightened child faced by
something you cannot understand.” To
keep from crying along with her son, Jonathan’s mother switched to thinking
about her father. He would soon be
home. She could already picture him sitting
out in the sun in the back yard or in his summerhouse. How he would laugh at the stories about his
grandson’s determination to deliver the card to him in time for Father’s
Day. How he would hug the child who
worried so about him. Her father had the
biggest bear hugs any child could imagine.
His hugs were big, strong and long.
You felt safe in his arms when he hugged you. You knew nothing could ever happen to
you. There was so much love in those
hugs. She remembered them well. She knew that when her father was home and
hugged Jonathan, all would be well again.
She and her son drove home in silence. When they reached home, he went to his room
to play. He seemed unusually quiet the
rest of the day. She spoke to her
mother. Her mother advised that if
Jonathan was quiet, then put off the talk until he brought the subject up. It could only upset him more to keep the
child’s focus on his fears.
Jonathan’s Grandpa died the following day.
Part
II
Jonathan’s behavior just prior to his grandfather’s
death probably would have been forgotten or dismissed as childish imagination
except for what happened next.
Only later would his mother realize that she never
told Jonathan when his grandfather died.
It was as though she did not have to do so. The little boy knew.